What do you do when you feel envious of others? How to turn it into something positive.

Envy feels horrible. When I feel envious of someone, it makes me feel inadequate, lesser-than, upset and stuck. I lose my ‘Authority of Self’ and I forget my own individual purpose and design as a soul and as a human being. I can never wait to get back to my true self!

Comparing and competing is useless

Even though we all do it, comparing ourselves with anyone else is always a waste of time. As each of us has been created as a once-off, never-to-be-repeated original design , looking at another person and wishing for something that they have or that they are is unproductive, debilitating and useless.

You are like nobody else

To take this one step further: You have been called into being for a particular purpose that is unique to you, so it follows that you, just like everyone else, have the exact talents, attributes – and even bodily proportions – to allow you to become who you’re meant to be and to make your own contribution to the world.

For this reason, to envy anyone else is fruitless because you’re focusing on someone else’s life instead of your own.

So what do we do when envy creeps up on us?

Envy, just like any of the other emotions that feel negative and uncomfortable, has a positive purpose that, if used consciously, can draw your attention to something that you need to learn more about in yourself.

Envy, in particular, is very helpful in showing you where you may be neglecting something within you.

This is what helps me the most when I feel envious

• As soon as I realise that I’m feeling envious, I stop and observe/witness how I’m feeling. This allows me to become conscious of what’s going on inside me.
• I give myself a few minutes to acknowledge my feelings. I name them so I can deal with them: ‘Oh, I see – this out-of-sorts feeling is because I’m envious!’
• I then identify exactly what it is I’m envious of. Is it an attribute or quality that someone else has that I’d like to have too? Is it something they have that I wish I had? I get very clear about what’s caught my attention.

Now, the important part that transforms envy into something positive and helpful:

• Once I’ve identified what it is I’m envious of, I look for the equivalent within myself.

Some examples for you to try:

• If you envy someone’s personal style, this is a clue to you that you need to pay attention to this area in your own life. As you’re a unique soul with a unique purpose, you obviously won’t simply copy anyone else’s style, but your envy shows that there’s a part of you that’s ready to express your own authentic style.
• If you envy a book that’s been written, then reflect a bit on what you’d like to be writingabout.
• If other people’s travels make you envious, consider a little trip of your own to somewhere that would give you joy. It doesn’t have to be a round-the-world trip – just start with a weekend away!
• If you envy the confidence/courage/generosity/patience/joy in another person, this is a sign that you’re ready to develop these qualities within yourself. Remember, your equivalent of these attributes will be unique to you. For example, your version of confidence may not be robust and boisterous, but rather a quieter, gentler self-assurance.
• If you notice yourself feeling envious of someone’s job or relationship or children or achievements, take the time to look for your own authentic equivalent. Consider what these would look like expressed through you, in your life.

Remember:

• Envy exists to help you to see where you have potential and capacity that you’re not using fully.
• The very thing that you’re envying is a pointer to where you need to develop your own authentic version of what you think someone else has that you don’t have.
• This attribute or situation will look different in your life because you are unique, so work out what this looks like.
• And then take the first step to manifest this latent ability or attribute within you.

This is true freedom!

Be grateful when you experience a sense of envy because this encourages you to turn the focus back to your own life and all that you can be and do.

You have the capacity within you to grow and develop endlessly and there is no limit to the qualities, strengths, talents and attributes that can be attained over the course of your life.

Let envy be a stimulus for you to expand, evolve, unfold and thrive!

www.livingonpurpose.co.za