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Do you ever feel swamped by all the stuff that you have around you? Do you have more clothes than you can wear, more paper than you need and all sorts of things that you’re keeping ‘in case’?

There is something extremely liberating about getting rid of what you don’t love or don’t use

I don’t have a big house and I regularly clear out my spaces, but I still seem to have more than I need. I always feel better when my environment is simple, clean and ordered, so I’ve recently been doing this interesting exercise:

Every day, for 9 consecutive days, you get rid of 27 items that you own

This literally means that you have to clear away at least 27 things each day for 9 days in a row. The idea is that the clearing effect builds day by day so, if you miss a day, you’ll need to start from Day One again to get the full benefit.

At first it felt quite daunting to me and I wasn’t sure that I’d be able to find 243 things to let go of, but as soon as I started I was amazed at how much there was to clear away. I also found that the momentum of daily clearing got easier and more uplifting as I went along.

It’s tiring and draining to have too many things

No matter how big or small your home or work space is, if you have things crammed into drawers or behind cupboard doors, clothes you’re keeping but never wear, broken appliances, out-of-date magazines. musty old study notes, useless random plastic – or anything else that you’re not using, you’re weighing yourself down, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

There’s a link between excess stuff and general well-being

Research has clearly shown that the more physical stuff we have, the more likely we are to be anxious, depressed and unfulfilled. This makes sense because no amount of physical stuff will ever be able to satisfy our genuine longing for sustainable, inner spiritual meaning and fulfillment.

Real benefits of doing this exercise

We’ve all heard the scientific principle that Nature will always fill an empty space. Whenever there is a vacuum or low pressure area, something will always flow in to fill that space – and the same thing happens when you start letting go of all the extra stuff you don’t use or need.

Letting go of the old, the outworn and things from the past opens up new possibilities and allows new ideas, opportunities and possibilities to come into your life.

Some things to think about as you’re clearing:

• Remember that your earthly life is temporary and that you’re just ‘passing through’, so don’t place too much worth on the material stuff you have.
• Don’t keep anything that has painful memories associated with it.
• Dispose of expired medicines.  By keeping them ‘in case’ you’re subtly expecting to get that illness again.
• Repair things that are broken, or if you couldn’t be bothered to do this, recycle them.
• Let go of electrical cords that don’t belong to anything you own and recycle cellphone chargers from instruments that are long gone.
• Old magazines, ancient files and books you’ll never read again keep you stuck in the past. Make way for fresh new concepts, ideas and knowledge.
• If your photographs bring you joy, keep them – but if they remind you of unhappy times, clear them out of your phone, computer or actual physical albums.
• Dried up pens, plastic-ware without lids, containers from takeaway food, dried up nail polish, stale old cosmetics, newspapers, toiletries from hotels, badly cracked china and out-of-date vitamins can all be released with a clear conscience.
• Unless you know that something would obviously be welcomed by someone else, don’t take up your time trying to find a good home for every thing you no longer need. Put them into recycling or the rubbish and trust that they will go to where they need to.
• Be clear why you’re keeping what you’re keeping. Don’t keep things you don’t like, just because someone gave them to you. Aim to give and to receive with no strings attached and with no ties of guilt.
• Keeping things you never use or wear just because you spent a lot of money on them won’t get your money back.  It’s a relief to let these things go to others who will treasure them and make use of them.
• Don’t hold on to other people’s stuff.  If they’re still alive, insist that they take responsibility for their own things and if they’re no longer in this world, they will certainly have a wider vision and be completely detached from their earthly stuff!
• Allow your letting go to be therapeutic. As you release reminders from the past or things you no longer need, be grateful for where you are now, what you may have learned from that person or that time – and then move into the present moment with appreciation, freedom and joy.
• Let everything you keep be representative of how you want your life to be as you go forward. Keep only what inspires, supports, serves, uplifts and encourages you.

Some practical support:

If you procrastinate, struggle to let go of things and worry about needing these things at some stage, try using the De-cluttering Remedy from my Signature Range. It’s designed to help you with all the anxiety, objections, insecurities and loss that you may feel as you go through this process of release.

I’ve loved doing this and will soon start another 9 day cycle

I love the clean spaces that I’ve already cleared and the lightness and efficiency I’ve created. Despite being concerned that I wouldn’t have enough to keep clearing for 9 days, I find that I still have more to do so I’m looking forward to repeating the exercise and I’m excited about making more and more space for the new in my life.

https://livingonpurpose.co.za/

Whenever I do a ‘Shopping in Your Wardrobe’ appointment in a client’s home, I’m always fascinated and delighted by the hidden treasures that I find amongst their clothes.

You will very likely have some treasures of your own

The way this usually happens is that you’ll be drawn by something – an item of clothing or accessories – that attracts you irresistibly. You’re not sure why, but you have an inexplicable longing for it.

This longing is different from the sort of crazy, unconscious shopping you may do when you’re trying to distract yourself or to drown out something that’s troubling you. The ‘special piece’ also isn’t to be confused with things that you bought simply because they were on sale or because you thought something new would make you feel better.

The longing you have for this particular thing feels deep, inexplicable and almost spiritual

Whatever it is that attracts you so powerfully could be a pair of high boots, a leather jacket, a romantic dress, a traditional beaded necklace, bright scarf, exotic jacket, unusual shoes, quirky earrings or something with an interesting pattern – but it will usually be something that’s different from what you would normally buy.

The confusion occurs later when you find that you never wear it because it doesn’t seem to fit with your ‘normal’ clothes or your usual look.  Even as time goes by – and it remains unworn – you can never bear to part with it because it continues to attract you.  

This is because, on some level that you don’t yet fully understand, this piece has meaning and significance for you.

Whatever this special item is that you have in your wardrobe, it’s important on many levels

It’s not an accident that you chose this piece of clothing and felt that you absolutely had to have it.

To understand this fully, it’s important to remember that you are much more than a human being who happens to like clothes. You are, in essence, pure spirit that is temporarily housed in a physical form. This spirit is your eternal soul, your unique and authentic spiritual identity that has an individual life purpose that is particular to you.

Nice wake-up calls

As part of your individual spiritual assignment, you have a distinctive ‘fingerprint’ that is your own personal combination of qualities and attributes. It’s these qualities and attributes that need to be acknowledged, embodied and expressed, so if any of them are not being fully used or lying dormant within you, they will find a way to draw your attention to them.

Sometimes these ‘wake-up calls’ to become all that you’re designed to be come in the form of illness, accidents or other difficulties, so it’s nice when they come in the form of little whispers from some out-of-the-ordinary clothes :).

Look for what inner parts of you may need your focus and attention

Whatever is inside you that needs to be expressed will be symbolised by these supposedly out-of-character items.

The high boots could, for example, represent the confidence that you know you have, but haven’t yet grown into. The lovely, sensual dress may be symbolic of the graceful, womanly part of you that may not be honoured in your masculine working environment. If you have a side to you that’s quirky and independent that you haven’t yet fully acknowledged, those off-beat, interesting earrings may be calling you to look at this.

Your true Self, your spirit, is often ‘ahead’ of you

Usually, when we look back on our lives, we’re better able to understand why we did what we did or why things unfolded as they did. And, on a slightly more mundane level, the attraction to these uncharacteristic items is a similar thing.

This is because your true, authentic Self longs to be whole. It desires nothing more than to express all aspects of you and to manifest all that you’re destined to become – and it will therefore get your attention in any way that it can.

Be guided by your ‘spirit-reminder’ item

Take note of what this special item may represent. Look at it with interested, curious and respectful eyes so that you can understand its symbolism and message.

And then work out how to wear it

Think of creative ways to combine it with what you already have.

For instance, you could wear the oriental jacket with jeans or a suede skirt, the quirky earrings with your professional business suit, the leather jacket with a flirty skirt, the sparkly necklace with a plain white T-shirt or combine ‘traditional’ African fabrics with ‘traditional’ Western clothes to honour your ancestry and eclectic nature.

In essence, play around and experiment with your clothes until you find what feels authentic, natural and comfortable for you.

Be grateful to that special piece

When you gradually incorporate this aspect of yourself into the already established parts of you, you’ll notice a sense of ‘rightness’, fulfillment, authenticity, empowerment. excitement, peace and relief. This is because you’re becoming more and more of who you truly are and living more and more in harmony with your design as a unique soul and individual human being.

https://livingonpurpose.co.za/

 

Many people have told me that they couldn’t wait for the past year to be over and that they hope the year to come will be better. While I understand that the prospect of a new year can give us hope for better things, we have to remember that the turn of a calendar page or a new number, 2018 of the Gregorian calendar, has no actual effect, unless we make some real changes and put into practice some new things.

You have to do something

If you continue to do the same things that you’ve been doing over the past months and years, it’s not realistic to expect that anything will be different.

I don’t say this to be discouraging but rather to give you genuine anticipation that things can change in the future.

Your future is based on how you live every moment of every day – and so you can take charge of how this goes

It’s a mistake to look at the outside world and to hope for improvement out there in order to feel better. If your future happiness and contentment is based on what other people do – and especially those who are ‘in charge’ – you’re likely to be disappointed.

It’s much more proactive and practical to take charge of your own life, despite what may be happening in the world around you.  

You do this by changing how you think, how you behave and how you respond to the situations around you and the circumstances in which you find yourself.

Don’t waste your energy

If you’re not in a position to influence in a practical way what politicians, ‘leaders’ and other people are doing, it’s counterproductive to get too upset over some of their foolish, short-sighted and materialistic mistakes. 

Yes, their actions and decisions can make a difference in the conditions that affect you, but it’s more effective, empowering and uplifting to focus on what you can actually do, right where you are now.

If you want this coming year to be different, try to focus on your own life and what you can do

You don’t necessarily need to do huge, grand things to make a difference.  It’s the seemingly small changes that, slowly and systematically, add up to something a lot greater in the long-run.

None of the following suggestions will be new to you, but together they will contribute to the coming year being one where you’ve made steady, consistent and significant progress.

This will allow you, at the end of the year, to reflect back and see that your time has been used wisely.

Putting some – or all – of the following suggestions into practice will create the environment and attitudes that will support you to grow, develop, blossom, thrive and achieve. 

Some suggestions to consider:

• Be aware that every day (and every hour of every day) is filled with opportunities, possibility and potential, so be awake and ready to take advantage of whatever is awaiting you
  
• Look for – and focus on – what’s good and lovely around you rather than on what’s negative, destructive and degrading
  
• Move towards anything that will bring more unity and move away from whatever contributes to disunity (in what you think, say or do)
• Resolve to let negativity stop with you. Don’t be the first to pass on the unfortunate, ill-advised and foolish things that others do (you never know, you too may do something unwise and then you’ll be grateful that others refrain from immediately broadcasting your mistake to everyone else :)!)
• Remember that we’re one human family, so treat every soul that crosses your path as you would a dearly loved member of your own family
• Look for opportunities to assist, support and serve those in need.  There will always be sick, poor, lonely or discouraged people around you so look for authentic ways to help (and you could consider offering these services in the name of others)  
• Take stock of the friends you have in your life. Work to enrich the good relationships you have, aim to improve less-than-satisfying ones and gradually let go of those that aren’t mutually fulfilling
  
• Start – or get back to – a daily practice of prayer and some form of quiet time to focus, relax, meditate and calm your spirit, your mind and the very cells of your body
• By this time next year, most of the cells in your body will have been replaced with new ones, so ensure that these new cells are formed from fresh, living nutrition as opposed to dead, processed ‘food’
• Make an effort to drink more clean water and fewer fizzy, sugary, energy and caffeinated drinks – your brain and your body will thank you
  
• Be disciplined about getting sufficient sleep so that you don’t begin every day over-tired (and desperate for coffee to get you going :))
  
• Try to find what’s funny in situations around you. There is plenty that is so ridiculous in the world that laughter is the only appropriate response for a sane and intelligent person!
• Learn to listen to your heart as much as you listen to your brain – you need input from both these vital organs to have a balanced approach to life
• Appreciate all the benefits of your smart phone, but look up from it every now and then to make personal contact with the real, interesting, living people around you

If you’d like the year ahead to be better than last year, build it day by day.

‘Let each morn be better than its eve and each morrow richer than its yesterday‘.

Baha’u’llah

https://livingonpurpose.co.za/

If you come from a happily united family, where everyone gets on, you are blessed indeed. In families where the members have a sense of oneness there’s a general sense of happiness, comfort, tranquility, security, assurance, mutuality and prosperity.

Not all families, however, are this privileged

Whether your family is one of the easier ones or one of the not so easy ones, the existing family patterns will be particularly highlighted at this time of year, as most families around the world get together. 

If your family genuinely enjoys being together, this holiday season will be a time of enrichment and restoration. You’ll be able to build on your store of past memories and to make new ones that create further ties of oneness.

But if your family is one where there are lingering discontents, old pains and feelings of sadness, anxiety, guilt or resentment, these will be exaggerated by the extra time spent together.  Without your usual routines, distractions and support systems to ease the situation, extended family times can be challenging. 

You may experience a brief ‘honeymoon’ period where you try hard to live up to your good intentions, but sooner or later, the issues which haven’t been properly addressed will come out.

Naturally we don’t want it to be this way

There’s always the hope that this year things will be different – but the truth is that unless we make sincere efforts to change our responses and attitudes, the same old family patterns will be perpetuated.

And, when yet another year has passed where familiar dysfunctional roles and patterns have been replayed, the beliefs about one another become further entrenched.

Disunity instead of unity

Anything that takes us away from unity disadvantages us.  Even if we think we’re unaffected by the underlying disharmony or alienation, on some level, our inner state of ease and our full potential are compromised.

While we may say: ‘You can choose your friends, but not your family’ or ‘It’s just an accident of birth’, on some spiritual level, all families are bound together for a reason.  Some of our greatest spiritual growth and depth of character come from the family members who test us the most.

This situation hasn’t happened overnight

Many of these family patterns have developed over many decades so it’s unrealistic to expect them to change overnight – or over this particular holiday season – so all I’m suggesting at this stage is that we acknowledge the disharmony that may exist in our family relationships – and have the sincere intention to do something meaningful about this.

It takes courage, but someone has to start

If we’re waiting for someone else to become accountable and to apologise and change their ways, we could be waiting a long time :). 

Instead, why should we not be the courageous ones who take the first step?

It may not be as difficult or as impossible as we think

The very idea of changing long-held family patterns can feel frightening and overwhelming, but this can be easier than we expect.

If it’s still too difficult to be in the same physical space as someone, we can begin with the intention of genuinely living up to the concepts of love and unity.  

Words alone are never enough and we need to put our good intentions into practice

We can begin by thinking of the ones we find difficult with loving kindness and we can pray to find some common ground to connect with them.  

Another practical and meaningful thing to do is to offer some of our services and kind deeds in their name so that the fruits of this may benefit our whole family. This means that we keep unity with certain people in mind as we do good things, with the intention of helping us all to move from our entrenched roles. 

In any family system, when anyone changes all the others change – in subtle or more obvious ways – so please know that any efforts you make towards authentic unity are praiseworthy and productive. 

This is truly heroic spiritual work

We tend to think of courage in physical terms and as grand ‘manly’ gestures, but being brave enough to start changing the course of a family’s health and well-being is evidence of true courage.  

The word ‘courage’ comes from the French word for ‘heart’ (coeur) and we are deepening our own heart-courage as we work to heal past misunderstandings, mistakes and hurt feelings.

When we start moving towards unity in our own families, we’re automatically contributing to peace and freedom on a wider scale.  All of humanity is interconnected so whatever we do on our own seemingly small scale ripples out to impact others, no matter where they may be on the planet.

A long-term process

This whole subject of family systems is an intense and far-reaching one, so we’ll be reflecting on this again in further posts as time goes by.  

For now, take comfort in the fact that you’re a brave soul and that your efforts are having lasting significance.

https://livingonpurpose.co.za/

This week’s post was written as much for myself as it was for you.

And it helped me to actually do what I recommend you to do!

Just so you don’t imagine that I have all this clothes stuff perfectly in hand, I want you to know how easy it is for us to fall for the seductive allure of new clothes. While I truly know that it’s better to have fewer clothes and to spend wisely, I recently bought a new top.

I had no intention of buying any new clothes (as I have more than enough already), but I was in a certain chain store that I like, legitimately buying food, when I decided to take ‘a quick look’ at what was on offer in the clothes section.

This is obviously a foolish move as, just like you, I’m not immune to lovely new things in lovely colours for the lovely new summer season…sigh.

I can hardly believe myself sometimes

So I found a top that I really liked the look of and, again, foolishly, I took the next step and tried it on. I was then enticed by the fact that I thought I looked nice in it – so I then, even more foolishly, went ahead and bought it. In the cold light of day, I now realise that I took leave of my senses because it was expensive, as well as completely unnecessary because I already have one that’s quite similar.

This little episode has reminded me of how we can all get caught up in the atmosphere of the season, the constant bombardment of attractive new clothes – and the temptation to spend money unwisely.

The good news, however, is that I mostly take my own advice.

And, as I always remind you – and now remind myself: 

• Please learn from my mistakes and don’t go wandering through clothing stores ‘on the off-chance’ (what was I thinking?) or ‘wandering’ through online shopping stores
• Please don’t try things on ‘just-in-case’ (this is dangerous)
• Please don’t spend money on things you don’t need (like me)
• Please keep the sales slips and then try on your new purchases when you get home to see them in your own environment
• Please check to see if you already have something similar, so you’re not wastingmoney
• And please return unnecessary purchases when you realise, as I did, that you’ve been unwise!

I will be returning the top today 🙂

In a recent workshop I was explaining the benefits of a Core Wardrobe Plan and stressing the many advantages of understanding and applying this system:

• Having fewer clothes but loving them all and wearing them all (the opposite of a ‘wardrobe full of clothes but nothing to wear’!)
• The efficiency and order of a simpler wardrobe (one thing on each hanger, instead of two or three)
• The ease of getting dressed in the morning (no more panic, frustration and despair!)
• Being able to mix and match easily because everything goes with everything 
• Efficient travel packing
• A vastly improved budget (less money wasted)
• The relief from the guilt of all that money spent – and yet still not having the right clothes!

And then came this strong objection from someone in the group:

“But, Glynis, what will my friends think of me when they see me in the same clothes again?”

This dynamic, successful young woman then explained that every morning she records her outfit with a selfie that she then sends to all her friends. Her reluctance to have fewer clothes was that it would spoil her carefully crafted image as a fashion icon.

The concerning thing for me was that she was completely serious and unaware of the significance and implications of what she was saying and doing.

It’s interesting to me how frequently we can lose our common sense where clothes are concerned

What makes the statement from this interesting soul – and the subsequent discussion – more startling is that it happened in the context of a conference on leadership for women. The entire focus of the few days was to support women in equality, progress and overall empowerment in order to manifest their full potential.

And also fascinating was that the module before mine had been on financial planning and investment.  The presenter had been stressing the importance of using money wisely and effectively in order to ensure a self-sufficient, independent, secure and empowered future.

This had inspired and motivated the group … but only until I started talking to them about a Core Wardrobe Plan that suggested limiting their future spending on clothes.

Two seemingly contradictory beliefs

Even though the person who objected to having fewer clothes had been excited at the idea of saving and investing in her long-term future, it was more important to her to maintain a short-term image on social media.

It’s this very dichotomy that can catch us out, whether we’re consciously aware of it or not

The pressure to impress others on social media and to be an object of admiration can cause us to do irrational things. Why, otherwise, would we keep spending more and more on clothes to keep up a certain image for the sake of others? Why would we waste our precious resources in this way instead of investing in something more lasting and meaningful?

Let’s get our clothes into perspective

Your clothes – when you get them right and when you use them consciously – can be an extremely effective tool in taking you from where you are now to where you want to be. They can allow you to express who you really are, to attract the right people and the right opportunities and to be more confident, creative, interesting, secure, independent – or any of the wonderful attributes that are available to us all.

But … if your clothes become just a vehicle to show off or to compete with others, they can disempower you and make you less authentic overall. 

This is because your clothes are meant to support you to become your true self and to live with purpose and meaning – and not for short-lived and superficial ambitions.

Balance your spending and investing

In order to have the right clothes, as well as money to save and invest, consider some of the following: 

• Get to know yourself and the needs of your lifestyle so you have the appropriate clothes to live authentically
  
• Have a budget for all that you need – not just for what you want – and know what you can afford to spend on clothes
  
• See your clothes as an investment in yourself and understand that they are a means to an end and not an end in themselves
  
• Use your clothes as a way to be more self-aware and authentic, rather than trying to create a seemingly glamorous and ‘perfect’ existence, such as the artificial ones displayed on ‘reality’ television shows
  
• Spend intelligently and consciously on things that are lasting, rather than bartering away a secure future – a home of your own, education to expand you, travel to enrich you – for a quick selfie that’s forgotten in moments
• Know your own values so you don’t fall for the superficial, materialistic and transient conditioning around you
  

https://livingonpurpose.co.za/author/

Every single day I express gratitude for my friends.

While I don’t have hundreds of friends on social media, I do have a small group of close friends who are very dear to me. Some of these friends live close by and others live far away on other continents, but my life is richer and more meaningful because of all of them.   

There are friends and there are ‘friends’

I value the quality of the friendships I have now because I know what it’s like to have ‘friendships’ that aren’t healthy or mutually beneficial.

In the past I’ve had the experience of being with ‘friends’ where I’ve felt empty and lonely, envious or competitive. After these encounters I’d feel regretful for how I’d behaved and/or embarrassed about the things I’d felt or what I’d said. Sometimes I’d feel tired and sad because the time together hadn’t been warm or reciprocal. I didn’t like the fact that we weren’t bringing out the best in one another.

This is not how genuine friendships are meant to be

These seemingly simple words give us insight into the potential that good friendships can have for us:

“True friends are even as skilled physicians…” Abdu’l-Baha

A physician is someone who is skilled in the art of healing and who knows what remedies you need to feel better. A doctor who is worth their calling has the time and patience to listen to you in order to understand you and your life. They’re interested in knowing the whole picture so they can support you to get back to balanced health and well-being.

Ideally, your doctor isn’t just there to medicate you when you become sick, but rather to maintain your health so that you’re less likely to get sick.  

Those who are close to you should be ‘true friends’ who act as ‘skilled physicians’ in your life

Take some time to reflect on the quality of your own friendships and ask yourself:

• Are you able to be authentic, sincere and genuine?
• Do you feel better, happier and more fulfilled after you’ve been with your friends?
  
• Is your friendship one of love, kindness, consideration, respect, acceptance, mutual affection and wanting the best for one another?
• Are you able to share what’s in your heart and know that your privacy will be respected?
  
• Do you ‘get’ one another?
  
• Do you both have the opportunity to talk and to be heard, as needed?
• Do you feel that you can count on one another?
• Is there the sincerity and trust to be able to work through misunderstandings?
• Do you help one another to get to the truth of things?
• Do you spend time together for the joy of it and not from duty and obligation?

A good way to ensure that your friendships are meaningful, supportive and enriching is to be the sort of friend that you’d like to have

Practice being a ‘skilled physician’ to your own friends as this will change the energy of the current relationship. Doing this has the potential to raise the quality of your friendships so that you’re both being ‘skilled physicians’, helping one another to be better, happier and more balanced.

It also allows ‘friendships’ that aren’t mutually nurturing to gradually fade away if they aren’t doing either of you any good.  The benefits of genuine friendships are priceless so it’s well worth persevering to foster and maintain them – and it’s also worth letting them go if you’re just going through the motions.

True friends help you in the long run

The longest study ever done on human beings proves that the support structure of good friends is one of the most important factors in longevity, fulfillment and mental sharpness. It showed that it isn’t the number of contacts and friends you have or whether you’re in a committed relationship – but the quality of these relationships that matters.

My friends are an ongoing support to me and a reminder of qualities that I aspire to develop

Some of the many things I appreciate in my friends are their kindness and understanding, unconditional love and ongoing encouragement, mature wisdom, stimulating conversation and deep insights, humour and laughter, courage and steadfastness, fierce love for their children, sincere commitment to service of others, a simple and ordered life, prayers on my behalf, supporting me over troubled and difficult times, generous hospitality and delicious food, patience and lack of judgement when I’m stuck or being obtuse, pointing me in the right direction when I can’t think straight, always picking up where we left off whenever we connect – and for sharing their hearts and lives with me.

To my dearly loved friends, the kindred spirits in my life, wherever you are in the world – thank you for your friendship and for being in my life.

https://livingonpurpose.co.za/blog/

www.livingonpurrpose.co.za

While I was out walking this week – I’m currently staying with my sister in Haifa, Israel – I befriended Alexander and Tamara, a delightful couple from Moscow who were looking for the Baha’i Gardens.  As I’m a Baha’i, I knew where they wanted to go, so I could walk with them to the Gardens and Terraces.

These extremely beautiful terraces that stretch from the top to the bottom of Mount Carmel are a UNESCO World Heritage Site and are the most-visited site in Israel.  A paradise of colour, fragrance, birdsong, sparkling fountains, symmetry and beauty, these gardens provide an oasis of calm and peace for all who spend time there.

As I accompanied these lovely souls to the Gardens, I wished that I could get to know them a little better,but they spoke almost no English and I know even less Russian.  I’d have been interested to know more about what their lives were like, what they think about things and why they were visiting Israel – but this was not to be because we don’t have a common language.  We ended up smiling and gesturing to one another as a very basic form of communication.

We can never develop meaningful communication if we can’t understand one another 

In South Africa, where I live, there are eleven official languages so there are many people that I encounter where a meaningful conversation is impossible because of a lack of a common language.  As a result, there are countless people all around me that I will never get to know and understand because we can’t speak to one another.

Communication remains superficial

If we’re not able to share who we are and what we feel, our conversation remains on the level of names and where we’re from, possibly a few simple facts such as how many children we have – but nothing of any real significance or meaning.

No matter how many languages you learn, the practical reality is that there will always be people who speak languages that you don’t know.  It’s also impossible to speak enough languages at a level that allows meaningful concepts to be discussed.

A practical and financial problem

As the world is now a global community, every year enormous amounts of money are spent on translation, printing and distribution for the United Nations and other global organisations to try to manage the unwieldy international problem of multiple languages.

Across the world, there are endless misunderstandings created amongst groups, cultures and nations as a result of a lack of a common language.

We will never have oneness or peace in the world until we’re able to share a language that we all understand.

So what do we do?

The most practical and far-reaching solution is for human beings to choose or create an auxiliary language that everyone learns as well as their own mother tongue. 

For each of us, the language that we grow up speaking is precious because it carries the richness of our heritage and cultural identity, so we need to know and study our particular mother tongue.

The world is made more beautiful by the vast multiplicity of the languages in which we express ourselves, so these need to be used and rejoiced in – but we also need to have an added international language that we can all use to facilitate the reality of living in a global community.

“The function of language is to portray the mysteries and secrets of human hearts. The heart is like a box, and language is the key. Only by using the key can we open the box and observe the gems it contains. Therefore, the question of an auxiliary international tongue has the utmost importance.”

Abdu’l-Baha

I look forward to the day when I’ll be able to talk to the interesting and lovely people that I encounter each day.

A simple greeting from one soul to another is a good way to start and from there we can use our common language to develop understanding, friendship and oneness. 

“The day is approaching when all the peoples of the world will have adopted one universal language and one common script. When this is achieved, to whatsoever city a man may journey, it shall be as if he were entering his own home.”

Baha’u’llah

https://livingonpurpose.co.za/blog/

 

Whenever I’m working with individuals or groups to help them develop their own authentic personal style, we always start with the True Self Style Words exercise. This is because, unless we have a clear idea of who we are on the inside, we can never develop a genuine and original style on the outside.

If you don’t have this inner self-awareness there’s naturally the tendency to copy other people, specifically or in general. This results in copy-cat attitudes, behaviours and approaches to life – as well as efforts to follow fashion without discrimination.

Without knowing who you are and the purpose of your life, your identity will be shaped by the prevailing beliefs and trends that surround you. This may not be in your favour, especially if the values of your culture or society are essentially materialistic.

The concept of your True Self Style Words is a way to better understand who you are as a soul and as a human being

It’s always helpful to be reminded that you’re as unique as your fingerprints and that the purpose of your life is equally unique and individual. In a world where we’re pushed more and more to conform in how we think, speak, work, relax, eat, exercise and dress, this exercise automatically encourages a sense of independent self-awareness.

When you do the True Self Style Words exercise you reflect on what makes you you. You have the opportunity to consider what you know about yourself that you’d like to express in your life and in your clothes.

Look like your true self

For example, would you like to show that you’re Professional, Reliable, Interesting, Creative or Dynamic? It can be liberating to express the Eclectic, Approachable, Confident, Independent, Assertive, Modest or Strong aspects of yourself in how you look – and then in how you behave.

Your personal ‘fingerprint’ of True Self Style Words acts as a road map for how you combine and wear your clothes, for sorting out your wardrobe and for what you choose to buy in the future.

Sometimes this exercise is easy and sometimes it can be difficult

During this particular workshop, while most people were having fun choosing the True Self Style Words that best encapsulated them, a lovely woman in her fifties was struggling. She looked at all these glorious attributes of the soul but could see nothing that she recognised or related to.

She said that she’d been told her as a child not ‘to praise’ herself but to wait for others to notice her good qualities. This early conditioning had inhibited her self-awareness and left her with no clear idea of her individual gifts, talents and attributes.

One can certainly understand a well-intentioned parent who wanted to discourage vanity, narcissism or self-obsession, but one can also see how this caution could lead her to rely on others to define her, instead of developing her own authentic sense of inner self-worth.

It’s useful to know your own qualities, strengths and weaknesses

Your innate strengths are what you’re naturally good at and can be very helpful indicators of where to focus in career choices, satisfying relationships or fulfilling paths of work and service. On the other hand, being aware of your weaker areas allows you to address them, strengthen and transform them.

‘But I don’t want to praise myself!’

Sometimes people find it arrogant to choose attributes such as Generous, Courageous, Radiant, Eloquent, Kind or Noble. They feel embarrassed to describe themselves as Interesting, Artistic, Humorous, Dignified, Elegant, Glowing, Unfettered or Vibrant.

They feel a little of what the precious, self-effacing soul in this example was feeling.

Another way to look at this

In the process of trying to know and to understand yourself, it’s necessary to separate out arrogance and self-pride from a humble attempt to appreciate the legitimate attributes with which you’ve been created.

I find it helpful to remind myself that any positive qualities that I have are not me, as such, but rather timeless, universal attributes that are on loan to me from the Creator to be used proactively over the course of my life. My creativity, for example, is something that I value and try to use consciously to reflect what’s good and lovely in this world.

Whenever we use our natural attributes, gifts and talents mindfully and productively, we remind one another to do this in our own ways.

Self-respect and self-awareness

It isn’t arrogant, narcissistic or ‘praising yourself’ to acknowledge the qualities that make you unique, fascinating and well-rounded. It’s a way of honouring the Creator who made you by using who you are and what you have to make your individual contribution.

www.livingonpurpose.co.za